In this post we are going to address something that is very important to the bariatric community. No, I'm not talking about food. This is about who you see when you look in the mirror. When you wake up in the morning and see yourself, who do you see?
Do you see the person that you really are, exactly as other people see you, or do you see an image that you have created in your minds eye?
I often hear from our patients that even after they have lost a significant amount of weight they still feel "big". When they look in the mirror they still see that "big person" looking back at them. Have you ever felt that way? When someone tells you how nice you look, do you smile, but feel like they are just being kind?
I know that sometimes no matter how hard we work at our health and fitness, our body isn't getting the message. We look in the mirror and we do not see the beauty, the progress, the hard work, we see every flaw and imperfection.
So what shapes our self image? I believe that there are several factors that contribute to the way we see ourselves. Some of them are our parents, family, class mates, co-workers, education, and economic status, just to name a few. Unfortunately we cannot control all of those factors, we cannot change what has happened in our past. The hard and hurtful images of our childhood are part of a past that is already written in stone.
I was teased ruthlessly from elementary school, all the way into high school. I have really big lips. It hurts my heart to even say it, but it's just the truth. Having big lips was not all the fashion craze back then. Cindy Crawford and Angelina Jolie were not famous yet, and the models and actress of the day did not have that bee stung pout people pay good money for now a days.
I will spare you the details but I can tell you that when I was 13 I begged my parents for plastic surgery. I bet that everyone reading this post can relate to this story on way or another. As I got older my lips became a non-issue to everyone but me. Some people would even make comments on how beautiful my lips are, but in my minds eye for years all I saw was that skinny girl with the big ugly lips.
The fortunate part is that our present and our future is in our hands. The old images of ourselves do not have to define who we are today. We can turn those negatives into positives. Can I ever forget/get over what was said to me and how I felt? NO. But I can and have used those feelings and emotions to become a more compassionate person. I try and see the beauty in everyone. Most of all, I made peace with these crazy lips of mine and even learned to love them.
I just stopped caring what anyone else thought of my looks, beauty is fleeting, it's only here for a moment. The things that last, the important things, are how you treat people, the small kindnesses that no one sees, and the love that you spread to those around you.
The choice to see the flaws or the beauty in ourselves in one we need to make everyday. As I have said before, if you are not going to be kind to yourself then who is? Make a promise to yourself that you are going to compliment yourself on one thing everyday. Do it out loud. Set small achievable goals, stop setting yourself up for failure. Be proud of the person you are today and the person you are becoming. Allow the past to help you move forward and take it's power away to hold you back. We need to finally start seeing all of the beautiful, positive, and wonderful things in the mirror. Concentrate on eating healthy foods, drinking plenty of water, getting plenty of rest and exercise, and laughing out loud as often as possible. See a therapist to get your emotional needs addressed, I did and it was one of the best things I ever did.
So who do you see in the mirror?
If you or someone you know may be struggling with deeper issues related to body image please click the link below for more information and how to get help:
Please visit our website: www.westernbariatric.com
Or call one of our offices: SB 909-475-8611 or RS 951-3525643
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